Fuck you, Corky. You suck. Or sometimes meeting your heroes isn't all it's cracked up to be.

Life Goes On was a great television show. It always seemed wonderful that a show would be centered around the character, Corky Thatcher played by Chris Burke who has Down syndrome. Truly a first in television history. I was way into Corky. I thought he was awesome. And I liked the way the show would portray him in situations that could be sensitive and dealt with them well. Such as the time he fell in love with the prettiest girl in school. Or my personal favorite, the episode where he took driver ed and wrecked the car about 57 times. That shit was awesome. I really liked Chris Burke. I even owned two copies of his autobiography. Sure. He didn't write that shit but they put the word autobiography on the cover anyway. I was cool with that. I was working as a line cook back in those days and kept a copy propped up on the ventilation hood over the grill and stove top where everyone who came through the kitchen could see it. I was that proud of owning it.

That book sucked though. The stories were really mundane and all except for the story about the time a tree grew in his lung. Seems he was wrestling around with a kid at his school and the kid hit him in the mouth with a handful of dirt and twigs. A few months later he started coughing really bad. And doctors couldn't figure out the source. Then he started coughing up blood. They still couldn't find anything. One doctor finally stuck a camera down his lung and there it was...a fucking pine tree growing in his lung. Somewhere in the handful of dirt he that he had breathed in was part of a pine seed and it took root in his lung and was growing. They had to take half of his lung out. Lucky for him he had cool parents. Had he been my kid I would have said, "Fuck the surgery. You're going to be a big star there, Tree Kid". 

You can tell that I maybe knew a bit too much about Chris Burke. And that held for years. I would keep track of what he was up to after the show went off the air. I knew he had some sort of folk band or whatever. Years later in New York City though, I finally met him face to face. And he treated me like an absolute fuckhead.

I was on my second go round with living in New York. I had been working as a legal proofreader and loved the work. Then the economy tanked and I lost all of the sweet, sweet work I had been getting. Before I finally said, fuck it and came back to Indiana I tried finding what work I could. It sucked because I ended up more broke than ever before in my life and was miserable all the time. The miserable relationship I was in didn't help matters much either. One day I was walking down Broadway in the middle of a big day of handing out resumes and filling out applications all over. I was downtown south of 14th street near Astor Place. I was walking pass that ridiculously large Halloween shop, New York Costumes when I saw him. Chris Burke. Corky himself. Walking up Broadway towards me. My mood immediately jumped sky high. I forgot about the job I wasn't getting. I forgot about my meaner than a snake significant other waiting at home. I forgot all of the bad and only saw the good. The good of Corky.

He was short. I hadn't expected that. I knew that I was going to approach him but I also knew I should go as polite as I could. I smiled and walked towards him. "Hey. Chris Burke. I am a huge admirer of your work." He glared at me. "I really liked Life Goes On. It's one of my favorite tv shows of all time." He continued with the stink eye. I fumbled on the inside tying to think of something nice to say. "Chris, I loved your book. I have owned two copies. It was really good and I think everyone should read it." He kept glaring at me but now he changed his look. He fucking sneered at me. I thought he was going to spit but he just said, "So." 

And kept walking.

So. He said so. Well, fuck him! Fuck that motherfucker. So. So, my ass you fuckhead. I try to speak in a friendly manner to you and you Billy Idol face me and say SO??!!?? 

I CARED ABOUT THAT TREE IN YOUR LUNG YOU FUCKING DICK!!!

YOU SUCK!! YOU'RE WORSE THAN GODDAMNED GARY RICHRATH YOU ASSHOLE!!!

FUCK YOU! FUCK YOUR SHIT!

I watched him walk away. I felt awful. Corky had been so mean to me. I never wanted to see his show again. If I had had a copy of his book in my backpack I would have taken it out and thrown it right at the back of his asssholish fucking head. Dick. 

Life Went On. Haha. I ended up leaving NYC soon enough and got back to work in my home town and blablahblah. I have never watched that fucking show again though. And I will always remember him for his meanness and not for the awesome work he did on network tv. His bullshit behavior ruined my warm feelings for him. And if I had a copy of his book here right now, I wouldn't even think enough to wipe my ass with the fucker.

PS: His folk band fucking sucks.